Archive for September, 2016

For Your semi-amusement

September 29, 2016

Is it Trump or is it not?

“I was treated very not nice tonight, very badly in fact. Lester Holt, as I predicted, was terrible, a Democrat–I was very proud of myself for calling him a Democrat, even though he says he’s a Republican–he’s a Democrat, trust me, folks, even if he registers some other way. That’s why I say the election is rigged when that can happen. How many African Americans are all of sudden Republican? I mean, c’mon, I have one or two, but not many. The Democrats have brainwashed them into thinking things are good, Kumbaya, whatever–but they’re not good. It’s tough being black in the country. Very tough. Many, many people have told me that. Anyway, Lester kept asking questions about topics that, you know, I don’t know, what was the point? The president was born here, he wasn’t, I don’t care. Make America Great is the only thing on my mind–that’s why I made the hats that way. But notice how she called me ‘Donald’ and I called her ‘Madam Secretary’ or ‘Mrs. Clinton,’ even though I wonder what kind of marriage she has with her husband’s infidelities and other things we don’t know about, which I won’t share because I’m nice, a gentlemen. Anyway, I thought it was totally unfair tonight, totally, and I don’t know if you noticed–I mean, the cameras didn’t show it–but she was drinking water, too. She didn’t look well, I’m being very serious–pale and without color. So, I don’t know about the next debates. I’ll have to think about it before I agree to do them with her. There will have to be major changes if I do, major ones, like significant things that will make them fairer and treat me better–they’ll have to treat me better. I’ll need a guarantee. We’re in a mess in this country, folks, a mess and I don’t have to do this, running, though a lot of people are supporting me–many. A lot. I could make a lot of money–a lot, more than most of you–doing other things. What can she do?”

A measured response:

“What can she do?”

Oh lets see. Is it McAvoy or is it not?

“Run the country. Make sure our civil rights aren’t taken away. Undue “trickle-down,” and other policies that have put us in this mess. Ensure voting rights for everyone. Not make the world terrified of us. We’re not a ‘third-world country,’ Donald. But we treat 80% of our population like it. Since Roger Smith and Ronald Reagan came along, the word ‘Union’ has become a bad word. Ford isn’t shutting down plants to move to Mexico, not one job will be lost. I know, I live in Michigan. And you, yes, Millennials and Gen-X-ers. Yes, you. Who’s ruined Star Trek and Star Wars and still live in your parent’s basement, who wouldn’t know what Aleppo is, let alone Syria, except on your X-Box. You are the worst. Period. Generation. Period. And Donald Trump is the Worst. Candidate. In. The. History. Of. This. Great. Nation. Period. So, when you talk about Gary Johnson or Jill Stein, You’re just showing your ignorance.”

Now those were facetious statement put out by Barry Friedman, columnist at-large for The Tulsa Voice. The response, was done by the blog’s author, in the voice of “Will McAvoy” protrayed by Jeff Daniels on the HBO show, “The Newsroom.”

Now, here’s something from Evan Weiner, awarding winning writer who’s covered Donald Trump for 33 years:

“Here is my take on Trump. He IS a moron. I have dealt with him since 1983. I am of the opinion Fred paid to get him into Wharton. He did get out of Wharton but I am of the opinion whatever grades he got were paid for. He was doing okay until Mark Grossinger Etess was killed in that copter crash along with two other key Trump aides. Which begs the question. As a CEO, how in the hell do you put your three best aides in a helicopter together? As far as Ivana, she was smarter than him but the Plaza debacle, he blamed Ivana for mismanagement when he overpaid for a useless property. There are so many failures, the air shuttle, Alexanders, the USFL, Atlantic City. But what has always got me is that the smarter, richer guys in the USFL actually paid attention except for John Bassett who loaded with drugs to try to get over his cancer challenged him to a fight, it was a good thing Bassett kept his co-owner Burt Reynolds from carrying out John’s wish to punch Donald’s in the face. John was a smart, smart guy. He died right after threatening to rearrange Donald’s face. But my failing as a reporter back then was not finding out why the richer, smarter and more successful guy like Alfred Taubman, Billy Dunavant actually listened to him with the USFL. The real moneyed people have no use for him and dismiss him as an empty suit. I dealt with Taubman, Dunavant and should have asked, instead it was the late Harry Usher who ran the USFL after being really successful at the LA Olympics as the number 2 guy. Harry gave me an earful about Donald. I guess from my view, dealing with Trump with the USFL, with boxing, and as recently as eight years ago with ultimate fighting, I find him amusing, his love of borscht belt comics, but really stupid no matter what he says. Guess we kind of feel that way here in the New York media corp. At Charlie Osgood’s retirement party at the New York Press Club in January, we sat around comparing our Trump stories and how shallow Trump really is. I was once with Marla’s father Stan, they were lovely people actually, and Stan Maples just said to me out of the blue in that Georgia drawl, you know we are in over our heads here and my response to Stan, you certainly are Stan, you certainly are. By the way it was Fred Trump who put the finishing touches to destroying Coney Island tearing up the Steeplechase with scantily clad models taking axes to the ride.”

“And I am the Tsar of all the Russians.”